Ex-Cult Survey

Recently, the Teen Mania Honor Academy issued this survey for Alumni.  Though I was not contacted directly, I've decided to participate.

*1. When did you graduate from the internship?
2002

*2. August or January?
January

*3. How many years did you volunteer/work for Teen Mania?
1 (technically I worked a summer there as well, but since this is alumni and it wasn't a full year, I've decided not to count it.)

*4. Are you still in contact with any of your intern classmates?
Yes
There's no room to note that most of my classmates that I'm in touch with are apart of the Recovering Alumni Movement, but in touch is in touch.

*5. Do you still wear your Honor Ring? If no, please explain.
No (please explain)
It doesn't fit.  And frankly I find I do not wish to be bound by other people defining what "Honor" is for me.  Further, I do not find the actions of TM Honorable, so it would be hypocritical for me to wear a ring from them signifying Honor.

Funny that there's no need for an explanation as to why one still does wear the ring.

6. What has been the hardest challenge you have faced as an Alumnus? (note that this is the first question that isn't required)
Letting go of my inflated ego after a year of hearing how much better I was thane everyone else.  Also, learning to expand myself beyond the limitations of faith and knowledge the HA endorses.

*7. Which of the following would serve you as an Alumnus?
An actual, meaning full apology to the people the HA has hurt and pushed aside.

*8. What could we do to improve the Alumni Association?
I would invite members of the Recovering Alumni to actively participate in the Association without being judged for their views.  Only when the Association, and Teen Mania as a whole, embraces all Alumni and accepts the dissent of others will there be a fair voice of the past to speak towards the future.

*9. How Connected do you feel to the Honor Academy?
Not really

10. If you did not answer connected or very connected in question 9, please share why.
Being in the Honor Academy is an almost complete disconnect from reality.  And those who chose to hold on to the world outside were shunned.  I'm better off without that in my life.

*11. Have you participated in any Alumni functions? would you be interested in participating in the Reunion this year?
No.  If I attend any kind of Alumni Reunion, it will be with the RA community.

12. how often are you contacted by Teen Mania?
Not really

*13. Are you interested in any of the following volunteer opportunities for Alumni involvement, select all that apply
I am NOT interested in being involved at this time. (You think that if I came back as a GI, they'd let me set up my alter on campus?  I'm getting triple moon tapestry with Pentacle in place of the center.  Or I could mentor a GI.  That would be fun.  Especially if I were in Texas where I could talk to them on a regular basis.)

*14. I would be interested in donating to improve the GI programs and housing?
No (because I'm broke and I really don't care)

*15. I would consider giving money to Teen Mania for the following. Please select all that apply.
I am not interested (I wouldn't mind being a paid speaker.  does that count?)


16. Have you attended college or university?
0-1 years

17. Did you enjoy your Classed at the Honor Academy?
Other (please specify)
I enjoyed classES (you may want to spell check) while I was there, but it's easy when you're running on minimal sleep and maximum activity.  That's called brain washing, by the way.

18. What was your Favorite Class? what classes would you like to have access to as a podcast?
Hmm.  The one were we stood around in a circle and practiced making prophecies over each other... no wait, that was Blood 'n' Fire.  My bad.

*19. In what ways are you attempting to fulfill the Great Commission?
Sending others (as in someone else can do it)

*20. Are you actively involved in a church or ministry?
Other (please specify)
 I am currently preparing a sacred space in my bedroom dedicated the the Goddess, in all her glory.  So far, I have a table and Black and White pillars, to symbolize the Yin and Yang.  I hope to soon add symbols of Fire, Wind, Water and Earth.  I am looking into a Triple Moon tapestry and a wall statuary of the Drawing Down the Moon ritual.  I think it will look very nice and encourage me in my spiritual pursuits.

*21. What element of the HA has been the most effective in your growth as a Christian Leader?
Other (please specify)
 The fellow interns who were scorned and repressed by leadership for not conforming to their idolatry of the Perfect Christian.

*22. Would you recommend the Honor Academy to others?
No

*23. On a scale of 1-5 (1 being the least, 5 being the greatest) how much of an impact did the Honor Academy have on your life?
4

*24. How did the HA enable you to grow in wisdom?
I learned than titles and endorsements reflect popularity, not character.  Thus no leader is worthy of my respect until they have done something to earn it.

*25. How did the Honor Academy enable you to grow in discipline in your life?
I learned that rules and "discipline" don't make you a better person.  Just harder and more rigid. Often, more judgmental.

*26. How did the Honor Academy help develop your life vision?
It confused me greatly by telling me that my natural desires and inclinations in ministry were wrong.  That if I didn't force myself into the spotlight, I wasn't being a true man of god.

*27. How did the Honor Academy enable you to grow as a leader?
I learned that titles, position and vision are irrelevant.  Being a leader is no more and no less than helping people find their own path as you walk yours.  Very few genuine leaders in the HA.

28. How did your time at Teen Mania Prepare you for your Professional Career?
I have had absolutely nothing that resembles a "professional career" since I was at the HA.  I turned down a perfectly good job because I was so puffed up I thought I was better than that, meant for something more.  It was the dumbest thing I ever did.

*30. Are you Proud to be an Alumnus of the Honor Academy?
No (I would have gone with Nope, but it wasn't an option.)

And that was the Ex-Cult Survey.

Reliance

The other day, a friend of mine posted a question on what would our dream job be.  I responded with "I'd like to get a degree in relationship and sex therapy as a Psychologist. But my dream job would be as a housewife for a career driven woman, letting me keep my writing as a hobby without the performance stress of needing it for income."

I was a little miffed when she didn't like it or respond.  She was so encouraging to everyone else.  Then I found out the reason.  On another post she shared how several men had shared wanting to "keep house" as an excuse to play video games all day...  I can see the appeal, plush apartment, huge screen TV, 360 or PS3, and inevitable boredom that will lead hearts to stray.

I'm writing this because that's really not what I meant.  I'm not writing for her benefit, but for my own.  I mean if she offered to bed me, I wouldn't tell her no, provided that I wasn't in a relationship first.  This is my vision.

Not a plush apartment in the city.  A small house just outside the city.  Short driving distance to the city, a huge one, but with lots of acreage.  A small garden plot for herbs and vegetables, and a few fruit trees.  Dogs, cats, a few sheep to keep the grass trim, also for meat and wool.  Hunting, not so much fishing.  Tanning hides.  Sure the big screen and the game consoles, but not to fill my day.

My real job though begins when She gets home.  Not my friend who posted, but the general idea of the woman I would end up with in this scenario.  I'll spare you those details, namely because it all depends on who she is and what she wants from me on any given day.

The picture I'm painting is something my sister and I have been talking about for some time.  We call it Self-Reliance.  A partial unplug from the System that keeps us all enslaved to our jobs.  In the modern world we can't disconnect completely.  Property taxes and the like.  But we can have a richer existence for less money if we just take the time to do some things ourselves.  Especially the necessities.

Then there's the fact that I want to raise a family.  I don't want the woman I'm with to put her life on hold while we have a child or two.  I realize that it would be her body, and she would have to put things on hold for at least a few months during the pregnancies, if we decided to go that route.  In the end though, I'd prefer to take care of the children myself and let her pursue her career goals with minimal interference.

I don't want to sponge off a woman for my own leisure.  I want to be the support she can rely on in the background so she can have her dreams.  That will probably mean having a job of my own, and I accept that.  But my friend asked what my dream job would be, not what I was willing to do.  I guess a better answer would be to have a woman I could devote myself to and a place full of projects to make her life better and easier behind the scenes... and with what time I can muster to work on my own writing.