The Eye of the Beholder

Growing up, I fawned over Cindy Crawford and Pamela Anderson.  They were sexy and I liked that.  I of course knew nothing about them personally, other than their chosen professions and they fact that they had bodies and faces I enjoyed looking at.  At some point early on, I was aware that this was an illusion.  "Real women don't look like that."  Airbrushing aside, we are discussing women who's professions are built around looking good and being attractive.  And then we add in the fact that advertisers and magazines do airbrush and digitally alter images.  Truthfully, we have to wonder if we really know what any woman we haven't met face to face looks like.

A few years ago, I was talking with a friend who asked me about what I found attractive.  I described my "ideal woman".  When I was done, my friend laughed and said I had just described her sister, who I had never met or even seen a picture of.  It was funny.  Though I won't go into details, I will note that the image I held in my mind wasn't entirely based on Ms Crawford, or Ms Anderson.

A short while later, I found myself looking at a woman from across my favorite club.  She was gorgeous.  She was a big girl.  She was incredible.  It was fascinating to me because I knew she didn't fit my "ideal", nor was she "beautiful" by the standards of magazines and television.  It also took me by surprise.  But she caught my attention, and held it.  I didn't know then why I liked her.  I can see it now.  She was confident.  She smiled.  Her body moved in amazing ways.  It didn't hurt that she wore corsets and bodices to perk up her ample breasts.

I like breasts, and legs, and waists, and thighs, and butts, and hair, and eyes, and smiles.  I especially like eyes and smiles.  Women are amazing. They come in all beautiful shapes and sizes.  Beauty only has signs on the surface.  It's more.  I had to learn that.  My mind, emotions, and body knew that on a subconscious/unconscious level, but it's only in the last few years that I've begun to bring that awareness to the surface.

I've heard the phrase "real women have curves."  I've said it once or twice, but it was because I appreciated the beauty of curvy women.  But thin women can be beautiful too.  I'm not claiming that I find all women attractive.  But I also realize that my personal tastes shouldn't be a basis of judgement.

Beauty stems from self acceptance and confidence.  Not from how big or small some part or another of your body is.   Trouble is, I'm still learning that lesson myself.